To all respondents:

1. I wrote the first post "Married Punjabi Man" and although some details are different than other women`s issues, apparently the central issue - being in love with someone that is either married or going to be married - is fairly common.

2. Where I differ in my post is that I am not looking for approval of my relationship nor am I looking for condemnation (which I have received plenty of). Which is why I wrote "whatever". Also, I am not retarded nor is anyone else of this board retarded.

3. I love this man - not because I am i "am in desperate need of a lifetime partner" but rather b/c he is my best friend and a truly good and decent person. And yes, he loves me back. He makes me happy and my life was happy before him, but he completes me. I do not have worries about his love for me or his ability to be faithful. Rather, my original post was asking how hard it would be for him. Not b/c we won`t get married, rather b/c I do love him and therefore, want to be able to help him.

4. Trust - trust is earned. not assumed, therefore trust is not assumed just b/c a man has never taken actions that you would not him to take towards you, nor is distrust assumed just b/c a man has taken actions that you believe he will not take towards you. Love, and trust, and honestly, and faithfulness are all complex and cannot be assumed.

5. To all the women who do not agree with my life choices, I am sorry and can only tell you that yes, I have been cheated on, but I believe in love and believe one must follow their own heart and try not to hurt others in the process. Although you may believe that I am hurting someone else (the wife), I know that is not my intention, nor is it my place to tell her.

6. To all the women who are experiencing similar issues and have written kind words of support, I wish you the best of luck.