Today, inter-racial marriages are not unusual. However, many people have conflicting view points about inter-racial relationships. Some people believe that being involved in these types of relationships is a good way for the partners to learn about a different culture. On the other hand, many others believe that an inter-racial relationships weakens a persons background and culture. What do you think?
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I
am an Irish Catholic from Belfast, Northern Ireland. Im currently
dating a Sikh guy from the UK, we have been together for a while & he has
met my family, who think alot of him, I know the whole culture issues
regarding his religion, however we are both still together & have plans to
build a future together.
His mum & dad were an "arranged marriage", however his mum is far from
happy, my boyfriend dad has in the past beaten her up, my boyfriend has
refused to go to India & marry due to the fact he doesnt want to marry
a Sikh girl, that doesnt mean at all he dis-respects his religion or
beliefs or his family. His mum has accepted this probably deep down
because she realises how unhappy she is & doesnt want the same for her son.
My fathers sister are all white catholics who have married Sikh & Hindu
men, they all have families and are extremley happy & their children
to.
I think this world is the way it is because of peoples opinion on
religion, Im from a city where people get murdered because of religion, I
just think its pointless.
I respect everyone, their beliefs & religion, but everyone doesnt think
like you, plz remember that before you judge each other.
-- Claire , claire.brennan@hotmail.com |
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I
think interracial marriages are perfectly fine. I hate the fact that
someone would choose something else over love. I`ve gone through
relationships like that but i was strong enough to let the man leave me
because of his family. That is love, but I`ve been heartbroken so many
times and I learned that it isnt fair. I am only 20 and its not right for
me to feel so heartbroken, it scars you. I am african american, but my
father is from Jamaica and I have a pinch of indian blood...if u look
at me then you`d know i had some sort of weird mix there and i act very
different than one would expect. I am very into different cultures and
I major in history so i learn so much about every culture. I have
learned about my ancestors and I am proud of each and every little pinch i
have. I am just as good as any other woman out there and I am educated
and a very kind person. I do not fit any stereotypes either. I am
currently dating a guy that is sikh punjabi, but he was born in California
and is not completely traditional. I`ve been with him for a while now
and hes treated me so well and i`ve dumped everyone else i was dating
just for him. I would convert to be a sikh even if i am not recognized
as one. Love is sacrafice, but you shouldnt always be the one that
sacrafices. I date mostly guys out of my race and most of the time its an
indian man. Its my own business if I want an interracial relationship
or marriage and no culture clash will tear me away from who i love
because differences are not such a big deal to ruin love. -- mai , indiecat2@yahoo.com |
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I
think inter racial marriages are not "bad" at all, because if god
himself said through the gurus teaching everyone is equal and all are from
the same god, it shoudn`t matter, for example the Golden temple has four
doors, why? to welcome everyone from ALL 4 corners of the world . And I
am sure if god welcomes everyone with open arms he is not going to
judge on why you can marry someone as long as both of you have the same
religious aspects and agree on them. And yes I am a punabi girl full
blooded who is married to a hispanic and african american (mt Husband).
People think its wrong or bad because not because they think god said its
wrong but what each other will say (stupid gossip crew). -- Jinder , Jina27HK@yahoo.com |
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Ok people heres the deal, I need anyones advice whos willing to give
it. A few months ago I met this guy named Solomon. We had never met in
person and had no idea what eachother looked like. We talked on the
phone every hour of every day and fell madly in love. I know ya`ll are
thinkin omg this has nothing to do with the meaning of the website but
just wait. So anyway, we find that we have like everything in common and
that we seem perfect for eachother. He proposed to me after the first
month. I of course said yes so ever since we have been engaged. Well just
last night I saw a picture of him for the first time. He`s black. I
love him to death dont get me wrong but just seeing his picture changed
everything. I am not racist I swear it`s just that my dad has always been
totally against inter-racial realtionships. I dont know what to tell
Solomon or if I should even bring it up! God anyone, anyone at all who
reads this please email me with some advice! I`m begging you! Thanx for
listening...or reading actually! -- China , zacs_gurl@hotmail.com |
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i
think merriege can be made by that person who is loved by our heart he
can be from any relision any comunity.because all the people are same
in all the thungs. all have hairs,legs,arms and all the things are
same.then we should not have any problem with it. the world is very advance
now. no body thinks about relision for merrieage.so we should also
leave these old thoughts that sikh boy or girl cannot merry any other
religious person. we must be advance. -- jatana , jatt_boys134@yahoo.com |
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Just like to add that I am from an interracial family(Indian father and
German mother) I have the best of both worlds and love everything about
it!! Growing up in predominently "white" area, I have been able teach
people about Indian culture and they have come to admire the beauty that
was previously ignored. -- Tracie , chahilt@students.udmercy.edu |
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Hi everyone, I`m Sharon, Indian Catholic, from Singapore. Inter-racial
marriages today, is perfectly ok. It`s simply about compromise. God
created us all the same. It is we who choose to call ourselves what we are
today. Religion is simple, All God is one God. That`s what every
religion teaches us. So what`s the problem in marrying any race or religion.
We all believe in the same God. Well, some may be offended about this
but this is the truth.
Sharon - - - Sat Sri Akaal -- Sharon , sharonj@singnet.com.sg |
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Hello everyone on this forum. I am a Christian Punjabi guy from Pakistan
and I wish to congratulate all those couples making interracial
marriages or engaged in similar relationships. In fact this forum is a great
site to develop matrimonial relations to which I ever admire. I am also
a victim of arranged marriage by our parents (as in vogue in our
culture), we became un-happy couple after six years of our marriage and have
separated now.
I seek a suitable match, a lady from any european country for long term
relations or marriage, interested ladies may please contact.
Independent ladies are most welcome.
Thank you for viewing my message.
zafarmasih2001@yahoo.com
-- Zafar , zafarmasih2001@yahoo.com |
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Hi my name is Pinney,
I am in a a relationship with a punjabi khatri boy.I myself am American
and also christrian. I meet Rahul last year in a place where neither of
us were suppose to be at a time when neither of us were looking for a
relationship.The two of us fell hard for one another very quickly and it
felt like we had been together before, like we were old friends.We live
together now and even though our lives seem very different and in many
ways are. We are also very similar. The one problem is his family. They
want to arrange a marriage for him.They were not happy to find out he
wanted to marry me.Since then I have become a secret. He lives here in
America now and had to take many favors from his family to get
here.Which ment no more Pinney and Rahul.They told him if he wanted to be here
it was under there orders and that means they pick his wife.Being
American I believe in love marriages.I have never before been involved with
someone outside of my race.I have also never before been in love with
someone the way I love this man.He loves me too and wants to be with
me.The reality of this situation is he will probably leave me to marry a
caste compatiable girl of his parents choice.I am saddened by this, the
future of our relationship is not decided by us but by outside
members.I don`t think people should make presumptious remarkes about the out
come of interracial relationships when they have never dated out side
there race, religon, or even caste for that matter.To say that children of
non-pure blood act badly is ignorant!I only hope that Rahul has enough
faith in our love to stand up for our love relationship.If god wanted
us to stay to one religion or culture than why would he have created
thousands of different beliefs?He made us all and loves us all.So my
opiion on this subject is simply this......If you feel that you parents know
best on who should be your mate for life than stick to just that.Don`t
mix with us love believing folk!Don`t send your children to countries
that don`t co-inside with your belifes and expect them not to adapt to
some of their belifes.Keep them in India and shelter them to other ways
of thinking. -- Jennifer , poopookapur@yahoo.com |
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Hi my name is Gurjeet and i think that the religion do not matter at
all in the case of marrige bcoz someone said that" Love is religion" .
When v do friendship with someone then we dont ask
him/her which religion u belong then y in marriges just to satisfy some
relative or our parents well i think if i will marry then i will marry
only that girl who luvs me truely from her heart then i dont care she
is a gori, hindu, muslim,sikh or christan. i want love from my partner
not religion. What religion gave you 84 roits, dead bodies plz guys grow
up and start thinking posetive. anyone thinks i m wrong contact me at
gurjeetsinghkang@yahoo.co.uk -- Gurjeet , gurjeetsinghkang@yahoo.co.uk |
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Hi
This is a totally personal issue...it is up to the person(s) involved.
If someone is highly spiritual then the possibility is they will be
against it...but that is up to them....telling people what they do and how
is very wrong and it is TOTALLY disgusting and unacceptable to say
`Goras and Karas` are badly behaved, etc as an excuse...let people marry
there love!
Richard
-- Richard , richardcregan@btinternet.com |
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I`m Chinese American and my ex-boyfriend is Indian. We were dating two
years before he broke up with me two days before he was to met a girl
his parents have selected for him. He has agreed to marry her and will
marry her in 4 months. I`m really hurt that he is so ready to marry
someone he has just met and forget everything we had together. I`m not sure
how to get over this as I feel heartbroken. :( He told me that he
still loves and cares for me but he can`t be with me simply because I`m not
Indian. Any advice on how I can forget him?
Ling -- Ling , blah@yahoo.com |
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Even though many people might think that interacial marriages are wrong
due to cultural values or religious beliefs, I feel that people whom
choose to marry somebody from another nationality other than their own
should not only be not criticized, they should also be respected for the
strength which they portray by doing this. I mean yeah I`ll admitt it
is much easier marrying someone from your own culture because you don`t
have many communicational barriers due to the fact that your both from
the same culture. Yet nobody ever said love was an easy thing to
obtain, so in reality you should follow your heart, because if not your
living your own judgment day, day after day and might regret loosing a
special loved one meerly because they were either not fm your culture or
your religion. However, I do strongly agree that if you know you are going
to abide in the arranged marriage tradition dont waste peoples ti!
me.
Anoop
"Matchless Beauty" -- Echi , sexychic140@hotmail.com |
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Whas Happenin People! Well this discussion is pretty interesting. i
had a view to air but i think ill keep it to my self now, the reason
being quite simple - everyone has their own opinion and perspective on the
topic of mixed-marriages. if you read thru the posted messages then
u`ll get a collection of so many different views, whether it be for or
against the cause. so what im trying to say is if ur for it ur for it, if
ur not then ur not. dnt let other ppls opinions and judgements affect
what you might have. after all the main difference between mixed
marriages has to be culture. and if ur willing to over come that then go for
it, if not then allow it.coz ppl often get confused between religon and
culture,dnt put the two into the same genre. religon is what u believe
in and what ur parents have told or preached you about. culture on the
other hand involves the traditions and backgrounds of your race.i
myself am a sikh (as u`ve probs gathered from the name,lol) but if i were to
marry a hindu,gujerati,mixed hindu/punjabi, then it wud b fine...becoz
that person wud still b indian. and thas all that matters. however if i
were to marry sum1 of a completely diff religon then it wud affect me
dramatically and then further complications and issues would follow in
the future. any how my message to all those reading is that we`re all
one, we r all part of the human race.god decided on wha religon we were
put into, and then the human race has further divided people by
stereotyping i.e. cast systems and/or culture. it is a very fragile subject but
at the end of the day ur the one who has to make the decision which
will affect your life and how you live it. peace. -- Ranveer , rajaji_4life@hotmail.com |
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inter-racial marriages/relationships will always have its problems
e.g.being involoved in an additional/new religion or culture,its alot 2
take on.if u truly love sum1 then religion n culture shud not b an issue
and u shud not have to convert for them.however if culture n religion
is still an issue, then if u truly love sum1 then u wud set them free as
the saying goes,there is no point in u both being in a r/ship that has
this sort of problem, it will only go on2 make u both unhappy. -- Kay , khadizabegum@hotmail.com |
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I
think it`s wrong. Maybe not to certain people, but it`s my opinion. We
were born Punjabi, most of us are 100% Indian. I am. I`m 100% Chamar,
Punjabi, and Indian. Mixed with nothing. We need to continue on or
future generations won`t know what they are. Do we honestly want to end up
like those goras or karas? Having our children misbehave like that? I
think not! Be a pround Punjabi! -- Sonia , xprecious_princess92x@yahoo.com |
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All of you people say that the only true thing is to find the one you
love. This is more than love, this is our religion, our families, our
country, unless you can understand this, you won`t be able to understand
us at all. I`m Hindu, I will have a arranged marriage, it is the right
thing. My religion is everything to me even though I may be an American.
I need something to grasp onto that.
Other religions aren`t as complex or spiritual as ours. Hindu, Sikh,
and Islam make up the majority of the country. These religions are very
spiritual. Christianity is a religion that one can basically escape to
when you don`t know what you are such as your mixed with a whole bunch
of nationalities.
You have got to understand our beliefs, or you don`t understand us.
I`m a proud desi, and always will be -- Sonia , xprecious_princess92x@yahoo.com |
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Hi there,
I think its really iggnorent of people to not know the difference
between etnicity (culture and race, remeber these are 2 completly different
groups. This in turn can and has caused alot of greif and confusion in
the way people think especially in regards to mixed relations. First of
all from years of invasions wars and history when you think about it
there is no such think as ful blood anythings we are all made up of
several different ethnic groups which over time has created different types
of people so if you were to genuinley trace back your ancestory
properly you may be suprised that your great great great great grandfather was
not a race you may have expected. Technically everyone is of mixed
race. I am what I call a licorice allsorts I have 7 different ethnic
backgrounds flowing through my veins I am proud and I am very aware of who I
am. I beleive religion is ones choice just bacause you are born a
jewish doent mean you have to preactice the jewish faith and just bacause
you are born from punjabi parents doesnt make you a sihk. Punjabi is the
reac shiksm is the religion its your choice in the end. The good thing
about christainity is that they know the difference between race and
religion, thats why if you were to go to a church- any denomonation, you
will find peopl from ALL racial backgrounds EVERYONE is welcome, thats
what religion is about the union of humankind, peace love and giving. I
have a punjabi boyfreind he knows who he is and where he stands, he
knows I beleive in the christian faith though I dont attend church but
that doesnt make me anyless of a christian. We both respect each ohters
cultural and religious backgrounds. I went to his homeland India and
stayed with his family and extended family for 4 months (thats along time)
I got along with them just fine I ate everything mummyji cooked I
attended temple services and went to many functions and weddings where I
felt excepted and loved. Thank god for open minded people like my partners
family. We are haveing a son anyday now andabe rest assured like me he
will be aware of his background and have the choice to take on any
religion and partner he pleases. We are definatly not forcing anything upon
him. I beleive its up to the people mnot the race or religion to decide
weather a realtionship will last or not. Stop all this iggnorent crap
get with the real world. Blood is red and veins are blue get over
urselves this is how world wars can start. -- Jessica , Cleomj19@hotmail.com |
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I
have read everythign on this page, it`s my turn now.
Look at all the white and black people at school. Think about it,
seriously. Look at their grades, behavior, etc. at school? Now compare that
to Indians or 100% this or that people. Honestly, if you were to marry
someone of another race, would you want them to turn out as those goras
or karas? I don`t think so. We don`t want out children to end up like
that! They won`t know who they are growing up or ever! Am I this or am I
that? Your parents will suffer dramatically if you`re Indian. We`re
very religious people. We have arranged marriages.
You say it`s not right? Yes, it is.
Do you truly understand our customs?
No, you don`t.
Unless you can understand our beliefs, customs, religion, country, and
more, you won`t be able to understand us at all.
Marry and Indian, it`s not going to work out, I promise you that. -- Sonia , xprecious_princess92x@yahoo.com |
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I
believe there should have no problem of marrige between Inter Racial.
Inter Religious marrige is also possible , in that case Bride
/Bride-groom should accept the same religion. That is Religious stand. -- Syed , bd_syed@yahoo.com |
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I
believe that there is one God who created the earth and everything on
it. God created human beings and gave us the ability to love, animals do
not have this ability. Love is a precious gift that we have been given
and if you find love with somebody, you shouldn`t let it go. I think
that we should love people no matter what race or religion or caste they
are. If two people love eachother then nothing should stand in their
way. You need to spend the rest of your life with someone who can make
you happy, take care of you, make you laugh and smile, and love you as
passionately and totally as you love them. Love is about acceptance, if
you love someone you accept what they believe and they accept what you
believe. Families are important, but you do not spend your life with
your family, you spend it with your partner, your partner is who you spend
your time with and share things with. I think if your family truly
loves you they will want you to be happy, and if being happy means that you
marry someone outside of your own race, religion, or caste, then so be
it. You can`t help who you fall in love with. You can`t be truly happy
unless you find that person to love, without them there would be a gap
in your life, a constant feeling that something is missing. For
everyone out there struggling, don`t give up. Sometimes the best things in
life are worth fighting for. You are doing nothing wrong, God made us
equal, God would approve of love between two people, any two people, no
matter what the differences between the two people may be. Love is love at
the end of the day, and people are people.
-- vicky , vicky_manifold@hotmail.com |
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Hi, I am American caucasian and engaged to A Punjabi Sikh. He lives
here in the US. We met online and talked for 3 years before we met
in person. After a few meetings we got to be dating then engaged.
I am happy with him as a human being, also I accepted Sikhism before
I loved him, so there is no problem with religions being different. I
like indian food and culture. My Mom accepts him as does my brother,
but his family knows nothing about me. I think this is wierd and
maybe some surprise will be waiting for me in the future if they dont
like me, butI will meet them eventually, and hope all goes well.
Waheguru will be with me no matter what life`s challenges. But I never saw my
guy as brown or white, or yellow or purple. He is a nice man. Last
time I checked were both human beings! -- Deborah , debbieinaz@yahoo.com |
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I`m Patrick from Switzerland, 39 years old, married to a Swiss lady and
I have one 8-year old son. I was born as a roman-catholic, but I
abandoned church because I don`t have any common with it or with the pope.
Still I consider myself as a christian.
I`m quite liberal, and I think inter-racial marriages are alright. If
there is love, there won`t bi any problems. But the families must agree
as well. It`s easy for me, as a Swiss, to say so. because we don`t have
any ethnic unrests in our country. Even though we have racist
differences. There are lots of Muslime people in my country, and some people
start to worry about.
I must admit, that I don`t have a great idea of Indian (or Punjabi)
culture and tradition (yet). I`m still learning. And therfore I would love
to get in contact with people and maybe nwe friends in India.
And at last, let me mention, that the most lovely and pretty ladies are
fom India... (e.g. the nice actress "Parminder Nagra" who emmigrated to
the U.K.)
Pat -- patrick , pat_bs@yahoo.de |
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Inter racial relationships will work just fine if the 2 people love each
other and give 100% to the relationship including compromise as with
any relationship. But the most important thing in an inter racial
relationship is RESPECT! If both dont have that respect, love or not, it wont
work. -- Shelly , cinderella25313@hotmail.com |
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hey punjab,m cherry from usa n m adding my thoughts well i personally am
in the favour of inter caste marriages. i mean why people have hatred
for those who do inter caste marriages. moreover m a sikh n i like a guy
who is muslim. but what is the fuss all about? people think if cultures
dont match there cant b a marriage. but i say culture is not required
for a happy marriage but all we need is love for that person so that we
can spend our lives happily ever after..hope circumstances may change n
people may start thinking broadly.. -- cherry , chandan_swatch@yahoo.com |
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I
tried to read all the thoughts left on this one question (and there are
a lot). The culture between two individuals who are willing to take
their relationship to the next step - marriage - will not be lost if
there is already an understanding in the beginning that they will raise
their kids "this" religion or do "that" once they are married. That
being attending mass, or going to the Gurdwara and such. I would be
willing to raise my kids Sikh, or the religion my husband believes in. A
wise person once told me God is everywhere and people can believe in
whatever they want to believe in, even a rock. In some religions, yes, they
do pray over a rock. If it makes that person spiritually happy, than
power and peace be with them. We are here to be happy. That theme of
being happy, or finding your happiness is in most all major world
religions. Who would want to suffer? Who is anybody to judge what God
ordained or does? Who said that God never meant for a man and a woman of
different cultures to be together? Let`s be simplisic, as much as
possible. The woman carries the culture on and teaches it to her children
and her children`s children (the grandkids). You have to realize what
you are getting into when dating and before entering marriage, not after
- that is why there is a high percentage of divorce rates every year.
Research. Learn about the community, learn about the languages, the
dances, the food, and have some idea in frame what it will be like for
you to be in that other persons life. Yes, it is a change of lifestyle.
You both will have to make an effort to make it work. If you know it
is not going to work, walk away. No matter how much it hurts. However,
if you are open-minded and willing to learn to adapt without physically
or emotionally hurting yourself, than good. Have fun exploring life,
be smart, in all meaning, and look after yourself. You can`t take care
of others if you are not taking care of yourself spiritually,
physically, and mentally. Peace be with you all.
-- Elizabeth , senseielizabeth@yahoo.com |
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Hi everyone, I read all of ur thoughts. I`m a Christian from (usa)and my
boyfriend is Sikh(Punjab India)we are going out for 1 years now and now
we decided to get married,my parents are wishing us great luck.And his
parents know about us say to me please come soon. So all his family
know we love eachother so much that we can do anything for
eachother.So i think just have faith on God.So i think i am so lucky to have
found my true love..
-- Sonia , sonia_307@msn.com |
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hi i am a girl from europe and went several times to india. yes you must
be carefull but i didnt understand that all people are still talking
about " interrace".
when someone love its important to love and respect the person. love
dont know races or border!!!!!!!!!we are all humanan and all this
conflicts are made in the head of people!! -- Janine , letafet@lycos.de |
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My one thought is PLEASE don`t be selfish - if you know that you`re
parents or family are going to arrrage a marriage for you and you know
there is nothing that you can do about it, don`t waste someone`s time and
please spare them the heart ache. I`ve read some of the commentaries,
and people are so hurt because people choose religion and culture over
love (but what people cease to realize is that you don`t have to CHOOSE
one or the other, they CAN co-exist - LOVE is about COMPROMISE and
SACRAFICE - you learn about what each other has to offer and you TEACH each
other about religion, culture and tradition, how to cook :) - you
RESPECT and TRUST that one you love won`t lead you in the wrong direction)
and if that is the case for you and you know it, just don`t be selfish -
think of how much you are going to hurt the other person. I am an
indo-guyanese and hindu, but I am a believer in `true love conquers all` and
if two people are in love as much as they say they are then, it will
work out, its like someone else said - God made you meet he will make it
work - but we have to remember that God helps those who helps
themselves, so if its WORTH it to you don`t give up - -- bunita , blempress@yahoo.com |
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I
am in favour of interracial marriages. If we wanna peace in this world,
then we should promote this system. Marrying with a person from other
race or religion help us to come close with others who are not of our
religion or race. We have to try to be world citizen. We have to marry
with that person whom we love, whom we know, whom we respect, doesn`t
matter to which race or religion he or she belongs. That`s all -- Gurpinder , chima_gurpinder@yahoo.co.in |
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It is really sad that Many indians are taking advantage of foreigners to
get citizenship/legal status/residence of foreign countries.
I am an indian and i heard many such stories which are real in which
some sikh guys take advantage of marrying european women in germany,
belgium,france etc and they get citizenship .As soon as their papers are
ready , they dump their wives and start business in europe. It is really
difficult to a european woman to adjust to these circumstances . She
thinks that she would be spending the rest of her life together with the
indian man and he would be "dream" person till the moment he gets his
european passport after which he chooses to get a divorce.
all europeans ! beware of marrying an indian spouse. Im really ashamed
too speak of my fellow citizens . but it is true.
take the case of COrnelia in the post below. she married a sikh guy and
"helped" him more than he deserved but he is just a badass.
It would be really bad experience if you opt to hurry things up with
indian spouse.Just take your time to "judge" before leaping into
marriage.
This is my honest advice to you !!!!!!!!!! -- jagjit , sonubal@hotmail.com |
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Im a 25 year old student in New York. I will always choose my religion
(Sikhism) over love no matter what. I have to say, firstly, interacial
marriages wont survive, cut the crap, life is strictly for your religion
not for who you love. second, God put you in a certain relgion now live
in it, and marry in it. To me, and to lots of other people religion
matters more than love. it dont matter who you fall in love with stick to
you own relgion because in the end, on judgement day, your lover will
not be with u. Your religion is all you have. -- Kin , anon@anon.com |
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Im a 25 year old student in New York. I will always choose my religion
(Sikhism) over love no matter what. I have to say, firstly, interacial
marriages wont survive, cut the crap, life is strictly for your religion
not for who you love. second, God put you in a certain relgion now live
in it, and marry in it. To me, and to lots of other people religion
matters more than love. it dont matter who you fall in love with stick to
you own relgion because in the end, on judgement day, your lover will
not be with u. Your religion is all you have. -- Kin , anon@anon.com |
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I
think inter-racial relationships are fine. As long as you know u won`t
get fed up and get divorced because of the differences! The only thing
I hate is the fact that people that do not have inter-racial
relationships have to point fingers and have to make a big deal out of it! Like
come on it`s not your life leave them alone! I am 15 I know I`m going to
marry a Sikh but that doesn`t mean I don`t believe in inter-racial
relationships! So all u people out there that have a problem with
inter-racial relationships get over it! -- Sharn , sharndhaliwal999@hotmail.com |
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I
do not think inter relationships work. Here I am cooking parathas while
my german girlfriend rolls the atta. Does she not know the proper way
of things and the differentiated roles for men and women? And she
watches Goodness Gracious Me and says things like "kiss my chuddas" and
refers to herself as "Ras-malai". My ex-wife, a good punjabi sikh, would
never do this. She never ever made me parathas. -- ravi , bindrar@tiscali.ch |
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I
think they`re harder, but I`m not against them. As long as they realize
their differences and are willing to comprimise and deal with things
together it`s okay, and if both families are okay with it it`s all good.
However I don`t think how so many people elope to be together, you
should have more respect for your families. -- Sona , laura4ever19@hotmail.com |
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i
have nuthing againt inter-racial marriages. two of my aunts rn`t sikhs.
one`s irish, nd the other`s italian. dey`ve both converted to sikhism.
deir kids r actually very religious. even more than me, nd both of my
parents are sikh. i think da newer da generation da more open minded. if
i wanted to marry a gora my parents wud go crazy. but if it was my
second cousin it wudn`t be a problem. -- Preet , punjabbiprincess@hotmail.com |
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I
think interacial marriges are fine. I am an Australian born white
female and married to a sikh man who was born in new delhi , india. His
parents still live there and at first were not comfortable with me at all ,
but once we actually married in India they really knew just how much i
loved their only son! I am now pregnant with our first child and I am
now a converted sikh. My children will also be raised that way. So as
long as you love each other nothing else matters. Love conquers all in
the end. -- Peita , peita_81@hotmail.com |
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I
believe inter racial relationships are fine as long as both partners
are committed to their individual backgrounds. It only gets more
complicated after you hace kids. If you don`t make a solid effort to pass on
your background the cultures will eventually fet watered down and lost. -- jasbir , itstrusidhu@hotmail.com |
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I
am Asian and my wife is Sikh. We have been married for 2 years, but
were together for 7 years before marrying. Understandably, there was
some tension, at first, when I was introduced to the family. However, as
they got to know me, I was welcomed into the family and I cannot think
of a more loving family I would rather be married into. People got to
see us as two people deeply in love with one another, not two
individuals of differing cultures and once they realised how strong our love was
for one another, nothing else mattered.
I am not saying inter-racial marriages is for everyone, but it is a
decision each person makes for themselves and just the same, it is a
decision, once made, others must accept. As my wife always says, "You
cannot dictate who your heart falls in love with." -- bigB , bert_f@rocketmail.com |
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ok i read every single one of those questions, replys etc. and some of
them are really touching, however i have a muslim boyfried and am a
hindu but we been together for atleast 4 months and i love him and i know
he loves me and we have planned to get married and stuff. now alot of
you reading this might think wait she has only been with him for four
months but our relationship is really different its very open and excitin.
now all the inter-ratial experiences that other people have had is alot
to think about because the hardest part is telling your family and
thats a mission. but the way i see it is if you love ther person i don`t
think anything can stop you apart from death. see your heart is yours and
if u want a dream to come true you have to beleive in it, if you don`t
then you wont get anywere and no one will listen to you. obviously your
parents wont be happy with you and they wont agree but the worse they
can do is throw you out but if they love you as much as you think they
do they would not do that in the first place. i mean my mum know`s well
has heard of my boyfriend but she doesn`t know who he is to me she
knows i have a lot of boy mates but she thinks that they are just mates and
some of them are. but there is only one man in my life and i will gain
repect i need if i set everything out right and do it at the right
time.. but the day i tell my mum and dad that i wantto marry a muslim is
going ot be the worse day of my life because i know i have shattered
their dreams but if i am happy then they should be able to respect that.
running away is not the answer because it makes it worse it is the worst
thing you can do and if your asian u know were am comin from. am so
sorry there is so much to read but its jus my opinion and everyone is
netitled to their opinion. -- manisha , manisha_patel_2003@hotmail.com |
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Hi my name is courtney and i am 13 years old and i was looking for some
advice on this subject thankz! Even though my parents really do not
beleive in inter-ratial marrige i do! i really dont care. I actually end
up going out with the exactly opposite race because i am white and im
sure you can figure out wat im talkin bout. I alwayz try to get my
parents to see it through my eyes but they wont listen if you have an more
advice for me i would love it! Email me at arbourchick6@yahoo.com -- Courtney , arbourchick6@yahoo.com |
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I
am currently in a mixed relationship and have only found difficulties
only with other Indian/Pakistani people. My partner and I live in a city
with a high population of indians who have failed to move on in times
since coming to UK. My family embrace their newest member openly, this
is because I am happy. Not caring what AUNTIE next door thinks feels
like being unshackled. The shackles of conformity and culture are very
heavy for British Asians. Good luck to those who follow their own path. -- Sanjeev , deb0501@hotmail.com |
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I
think marriages should be allowed in all castes.. i don`t know in exact
words but Im sure Guru Nanak Dev Ji said there are no castes and we are
all one, so even the people who are amritsar still call themselves
jatts or ramghariyans or wahtever they are? and yet they are considered the
most knowledgable in religious practises, there is no caste, everyones
the same. -- sim , simghatrora@yahoo.com |
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I
feel the inter racial marriage is not at all harmful.BUT as far as our
parents` wishes are concerned the marriage should be made in the same
caste.Though in this modern world,most of the parents go for this inter
racial marriages as the basis for most of such marriages is only love
marriage.Since we find that parents are happy when their child is
married in the same caste, so it`s better to go for the same race only.Though
we live in 21st century and everybody is equal before God, still some
things are there which limit us.Inter racial marriages are not bad as
they are one of the important ways to get mingeled with other races. -- abhilasha , abhilasha20032004@yahoo.com |
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Culture is or was nerver a static entity. A river purifies itself by the
very fact it flows. While a stagnant pool can`t rid itself of the waste
accumulated by the slow passage of time. The river flows fast. On the
way is joined not only by crystal clear water from mountain tops but
also by muddy rain waters formed in the plains. But the river flows
forward faster to become purer along its course. -- srigirivas , srigirivas@yahoo.co.in |
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My thoughts on interracial marriages are that in the eyes of god we are
all equal. Its stated that we are all from the same dirt so who is to
say we are better than others. There is no shame when someone u know
does this except in your eyes. I don`t understand how you can give up
your child when they have decided to follow their heart. Parents/Family
need to remember that they will only be ashamed if they let people do
it .... y not say `we approve` as long as our children are happy...coz u
know ur family will be old news the next day when they go onto someone
else.
Open your mind and heart world...life is too short...enjoy and cherish
each day -- bal , uffnah@hotmail.com |
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My name is Corinne, born in Holland but living many years in
Belgium.Here I met my Sikh friend with whom I have a little daughter now and I
have an 7 year old son from another relation.I want to tell my lifestory
and experience with my Punjabi friend, which is terrible.I would like
everyone to know that I know many very nice Indians and that I have the
greatest respect for all those who have a good heart and keep their
values, unfortunately the man I fell in love with doesn`t belong to them.
About two and a half years ago I met my friend and it was my son who
told me: mama take this man so I will have a little sister (which came
true last year februari).In the first months my friend whas the best man
I ever met (eventhough he drank a lot).Quite soon he told me he was
illegal in the country and had no papers.He worked in agriculture with
somebody else`s name.Of course I understood his situation and tried
everything to help him and because we were good together we made
weddingplans.In the meantime he also knew my financial situation (I don`t like
secrets in a relationship)and after a while I found out he stole money from
me and started to tell me lies.When I talked him about it he confessed
and promised not to do it again and I forgave him because of the
difficult situation he was in.He stopted drinking and then we decided to have
a baby because I am a little older than him I couldn`t wait to long and
I believed every promise he made me but none he kept.When I was
pregnant he started to fysically attack me because "I talked to much".I always
say what I think and I don`t like lies and he was most of the time busy
helping friends and I stayed many times alone during my pregnancy.But
all the time I helped him and his family in every way.His younger
brother also came to Belgium and is now also illegal.Then afer my friend
started threathening me with knifes, sticks, almost strangeld me once but I
never went to the police.I tried to figure out what happened in his
life to become like that.Then once I tried to prevent him from a criminal
activity that a "friend" asked him to do and then he wanted to drink a
chemical product to commit suicide; I took the bottle away from his
mouth and put it in the kitchen upside down.He came after me and tried to
put what was left on my head but nothing happened.The morning after
when I prepared my daughter`s milk, she was playing on the kitchenfloor
and there must have been fallen some drops of this product on the floor
and she had to go to the hospital because her face was burnt and after a
few years she`ll be needing plastic surgery.My friend felt very bad
because he never wanted this to happen but 10 days later we had an
argument again and while I was holding my daughter he started to fight again
(when this happens, he`s going really out of his mind, he`s loosing
complete controle).Then I phoned the police, they came but then he was
perfectly friendly and they couldn`t do nothing.
I told his brother I want their mother to come to see what kind of
"child" she brought into this world.I also told him to go to a psychiatrist
then I wouldn`t make a complaint.This is not my style but I had to
think about my children`s safety.I`m a very strong and difficult person but
always correct; I don`t lie, cheat or steel and I expect others to be
the same with me, if not I tell them my thoughts fave to face-never
behind someone`s back.In the meantime I lost already most of my money which
was meant for my children`s future, but nobody seemed to care.Then
after this the mother got very quickly a visa and was here about a month
later.The few weeks before my friend changed a lot in the good sense.I
thought all these problems came in the beginning when he didn`t have
papers (which arranged after our daughter was born)and missing his family
he hadn`t seen for about 5 years.So when mother came, she was extremely
friendly in the beginning but after a while she started to insult me,
my country and my social government money (from which they`ve all (my
friend, brother and she)have eaten, sent money to India, her ticket to
come for 3 months in Belgium.She asked her sons to keep things behind and
tell lies to me, all for the money!I treated her better than the queen
but that wasn`t good enough for her.I told her she came here on
vacation so I didn`t want her to do much and I`m used to do everything alone
all my life.She never did anything exept cooking when everything was
cut.She said that the "ata" I make was to hard so next time I asked her
politely if it was better and she said yes, but when my friend came home
she took the "ata" out of the fridge and told him:"you see, it`s always
too hard".I`ve made ata more than two years and nobody ever
complained!Also she insulted friends of my friend telling lies about them to
insult.People who have better life than she or her sons are "no good".I have
never seen such a jealous and greedy person in my life, just like her
sons.There is much more I can tell but then it`ll never stop.My friend
and I broke up no because now I`m broke and he doesn`t want to pay half
(which is normal here) and he has to give me back a great loan that he
promised me to pay back.The loan I gave to his brother I had to STEAL
back!Can you imagine.In India they`re reparing the house and have money
for whatever; I put my children`s money for a good life and future in
this family believing I found the man of my life who would respect me
for helping so much-family and friends-and my children and I only got
pain, no respect, torture and terror in our lives and nobody seems to care
what happens now with us.I`m alone now and there`s nothing I can
do.This all for the love of MONEY.But eventhough I have nothing left, I have
the most wonderful children and my selfrespect, even with all the money
in the world You can not buy that.My children give me the courage to
maintain strong and I believe that GOD will help us because all I ever
wanted was a normal and happy familylife, but that takes two.
For all the people who have children in a foreign country: many are
very nice and do it the right way and as a parent, be happy!
And for all the people in India who don`t live in wealth: The greatest
wealth is inside of you and if "sons" have to give this way a better
life to you it`s better live with less but never loose the values and the
heart.To ruin one family to help another for keeping up appearances is
not the way! -- cornelia , cornelia.van.noorloos@pandora.be |
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I
am a sikh born and raised in canada bc. i read, write and speak
punjabi, i go to the gurdwara, read the guru granth sahib twice a day,
actually, i even did kirtan for a while. most people including my parents
thought i would marry a punjabi jutt sikh male but, i married a wonderful
white canadian male. my family has disowned me and society looks at me
and my husband funny. why? because there are societal expectations that
one expects. this bs with i won`t` marry you because of my family is
pathetic. reality check? be strong and show HOW MUCH YOU LOVE that
person. God made u meet, and if u beieve in Him, He will make it work! -- bubbli , bubbli_boo@hotmail.com |
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Hi my name is Krystine and I am a cocassion female. See I agree more
with love marriages because it doesnt matter what colour skin you are
whether you are purple, blue or green it matters to the person that is
marrying the other and what the heart feels because you dont want your son
or dughter marrying someone that they dont love right? But i also do
believe that if your son and daughter is marrying a different race
whether she is white or an indian he/she should promise to keep the culture
the way it was taught and keep it strong. My step-mom is hindu and she
married my dad which is white. I have never met two people that are so
inlove in my life. But she should still carry on with pooja and her
religion which she does and if her and my dad ever decide to have children
she should teach the offspring the same religion. -- krystine , anglow_browngurl04@hotmail.com |
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I
just want to add, that also in the past of india interracial marriages
happened many times. I think more in northindia, when people from the
western countries arrived there. Specially from england. So also the
looking changed, many indians look i think similar to people from europe,
not like people from other asian countries. Without interracial
marriages in the past india would be very different i think!
Second sometimes i don |
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i |
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What is wrong with people?? The only thing that should matter in life is
finding your true love....not settling for someone just because your
parents and community have expectations. To me that is the problem with
organized religions, it is the basis of all confilicts concerning love,
marriage, and togetherness. That is why I am an athiest, I believe in
nothing and hate or resent nobody. I am in love with a sikh, and I
would do absolutely anything for this guy. But his family has forbidden
him to be with me just becuase I am white. I find this ridiculous, who
are we living for...ourselves or other people?? You only get one chance
at life.......so if you find your soul mate, regardless of race,
religion, or creed..grab the chance with both hands and never let go. -- adriane , adrianekathleen@hotmail.com |
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well scanning thru most of the comments..ive noticed a mixed feeling
regarding inter racial or inter religious relationships. im 20 yrs old
and am from goa meaning im also indian and catholic.
ow our culture is
very strong in its traditions, we are very open in regards to our
culture. its not too restrictive. ive always had a very open relationship
wit my folks, and ive seen alot of problms goin on with them eventho
they are both catholic and goan it was always drummed in my head that i
shuld always look for a guy who is christian and not only indian BUT
GOAN...i did find someone perfect however as fate wuld have it, it dint
work out....and as fate worked i ended up for a year n half with a sikh
guy (my first non christian boyf)..he does cover his head so to me its
a bit weird...but hez open when i have silly ques to ask/ hez not too
traditional tho he does keep his traditions...and im very strong in my
culture...but somehow we blend so well..like we complement each
other....tho im 20 and hez 22 and we are both very young...i dunno how far this
is goin to lead....surprisingly my folks are gonna be harder to accept
the situation than his are. im the only daughter so if i end up with
him im sacrificing everything for him...and he knows it...but we will
keep our religions...but the worry is always when the kids come....however
its fair that they learn about both the religions and when old enuf to
understand choose which one they wish to follow...just im not sure bout
my son ever covering his head,,,its only fair to him and me....and he
agrees with me. i love him soo much but im also scared....its more of
a struggle for him than me...cuz its sucha diff turn in how i expected
things to be,,,,yet i surprisingly dont regret it....i do keep myself
aware all the time that it may not work out.,,,.but atleast at the end
we gave each other something special something to move along in life
with,,,,something to always love about each other.....and i think thats
more treasurable than worrying bout all the politics we put in our
lives. -- natasha , tishm0@hotmail.com |
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MY POINTS TO SAMRIAN: WHY WOULD YOU WANNA CONVERT?US SIKHS DONT ALLOW
THAT ANYWAY. YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. IN OUR FAITH AND BELIEFS WE DONT
CONVERT ANYONE. EACH FAITH AND CULTURE IS UNQUE IN ITSELF. IF YOU LOVED YOUR
MAN SO MUCH YOU`D LET HIM GO AND NOT MAKE HIM CHOOSE. IM A STRONG
BELIVER IN STICKING TO YOUR OWN CULTURES AND CAST. AT THE END OF THE DAY
EVRYONES JUST GOING TO BE A MIX OF LOADS OF DIFF CULTURES AND FAITHS AND
THE CHILDREN YOU BRING UP INTO THAT FAITH ARE GOING TO BE THE ONE`S WHO
SUFFER. DONT BE SELFSIH AND THINK OF WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT FAITH YOU
BELONG TO AND STICK TO IT.DONT CONFUSE SOCIETY WITH A MIX OF DIFFERENT
CULTURES,AT THE END OF THE DAY WHERE WILL THESE CHILDREN GO TO SHOW THERE
LOVE FOR GOD?CHURCH?OR TO THE GURDWARA?YOUVE GOT TO UNDERSTAND HOW THIS
WILL BE FOR YOUR FAMILY LONGTERM. YOUR KIDS WONT KNOW YOUR BOYFRIENDS
PARENTS AS THEY CANT APPROVE. ITS THE WAY IT IS. YOU COME FROM TO DIFF
BACKGROUNDS YOU WONT UNDERSTAND HIS FAMILY AND HE CANT EVER ADPAT 2
YOURS. IM A SIKH JATTI-AND I WENT OUT IN2 THE WORLD TO FIND MY JATT
BOYFRIEND,WEVE BIN TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS. WEL HAVE FULL BRED KIDS,NON OF THIS
HALF CAST ETC. ITS PATHETIC. AT THE END OF THE DAY YOU CHILDREN WILL GO
TO SCHOOL AND MAYBE LAUGHED AT.DO YOU REALLY WANT THAT? IM SORRY TO BE
SO HARSH BUT THAT ONLY MY VIEW MAYBE YOU`L UNDERSTAND WHERE IM COMMING
FROM OR NOT.BUT THATS HOW I SEE IT. IT MAY SEEM NARROW MINDED BUT I
PREFER TRADITIONS AND FAITH MYSELF..... -- kiran , kiran77@punjabonline.com |
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Hi everyone, I read all of ur thoughts,u all right.=)
I`m a Christian from middle east(Iran)and my boyfriend is Sikh(Punjab
India)we are going out for 2 years now and now we decided to get
married,my parents are ok with it but his parents always want him to marry in
his own religion. We love eachother so much that we can do anything for
eachother. His parents are very nice but they are not going to accept
me. He loves his parents so much and in other hand he loves me too, but
we don`t know what to do and we want to live the rest of our lives
together. I`d love to convert to his religion, cause I love him so much and
I do care about him, but the fact is that his parents are going to
agree or not? Now we are just waiting to see what to be done to make them
agree...I`d love to hear from u guys to give me any advice concerning
this matter..samrian@hotmail.com -- Samrian , Samrian@hotmail.com |
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When I hear the notion of mixed relationships a number of thoughts come
to mind. Firstly, I am the result of a mixed marriage, my mother is
from the Caribbean (Jamaican Indian) and my father is Irish English.
Through my teenage years i struggled with my identity, was i black was I
white? But by the same token I questioned whether I was pretty, or if I
was clever, the questions i think relates to any teenage girl in
discovery of where they fit in. Is being mixed race, troublesome for a
child? Looking back at the age of twenty I dont think so, but i can almost
certainly say that it made it more interesting.
But a mixed relationship means to me now,a relationship not between my parents but between my present boyfriend. He is a Pakistani muslim. My fathers reaction is okay, but if we he was being truthful he would spout of all the misinformation and propoganda the media is full of particularly in the recent revolt of September 11 and the present state of the British asylum situation. His family after 16 months of our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend and best friends, they do not know. He is the first person i speak to in the morning, the last one at night and the fifty seventh call in the middle of the day!!! sdespite us living more than 120 miles apart. i respect and embrace his religion and culture, and have read the quran (I am a christian), and bought him one. If someone does have a mixed relationship it is imperative to understand the religious and cultural issues, and make it clear as to what the future may or may not hold.
I am mixed race, I am a Christian, he is a Pakistani Muslim. I would
love to be able to tell you that everything will work out, but in
loving him I understand the problems we will have to face. Mixed
relationships can work, the risks are higher and the obstacles are greater, but
if one truly loves the other I genuinely believe love conquers all. |
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I
am getting engaged,and am about to marry a hansome, elegant, moral sikh
who has lots of character and integrity and self-respect. I am black.
He is Canadian, but of Indian descent, his parents having been born in
Punjab, India. He is well educated (which matters more to me that
marrying a man with money) and can speak English, Punjabi and French (he is
cultured, has excellent manners, is courteous and high-born).
He doesn`t care too much in regards to my religious preferences. He cares that we have THE SAME VALUES. This is good. In my decision to marry him, I have also chosen to study the Indian culture, as well as his Sikh beliefs, out of respect for him, and his culture, as well as my interest in a culture that produces some of the lowest divorce rates in the world, and consistently produces men that have such great qualities (I think it is the family values and strong family support). I find it interesting that a lot of the personal beliefs I hold as an african-american woman in America can be found at the core of the Sikh belief system. I do not believe in placing material desires over that of spiritualism, knowledge and love of simple life and family, I cannot tolerate a liar and devote myself to truths, I do not believe in and cannot stand the hypocrisy and ritualism that you find in most other religions, and I believe that everybody should have some meditative time to his/herself every day to reflect on life, lessons learned and to appreciate the time you have on earth. I believe in Karma/Reap What You Sew, and I do not believe in much sexual promiscuity (it is dangerous, and counterproductive too). And, of course being a strong woman, I believe in equality of people and sexes, and all having consideration for one another. I also believe in avoiding and destroying all kinds of ignorance and try to learn everything I can about the world I am in. Based on the above I suspect that the Sikh I am getting engaged with has decided to marry me based on the fact that we share the same BELIEF SYSTEM. Not based on who`s religion is what. I have also come to realize, based on the Sikh/Guru belief system that, unlike most ingorant bigoted religions, it is a BELIEF SYSTEM that all believers of god can participate in, regardless of religion. One can be a christian And still study the teaching of the Gurus/Granth Sahib - it is for EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES IN GOD - so that means Christians and actually Muslims, too..
So why are people so caught up in splitting hairs about who belongs to
what religion? I just share most of the same beliefs as my
fiancee.....Isn`t that the most important thing? |
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I`m a Christian Asian girl who fall in love deeply with a Hindu Punjabi guy. He said he can`t marry me even though he loves me because I am not acceptable by his family, his religion nor his culture. We both are happy and we respect each other religion and culture, but now I feel that all the religion and culture are only the barrier for us to be united.
I think they are just a matter of interpretation who says that Indian man never marry a married woman, that Indian can only marry Indian girl who is also younger than him in order to be blessed by the priest!
If our love is so strong, then we can find a way to overcome the differences in religion and culture. There |
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I
am currently in an interracial relationship, and I think that barriers
of race, religion, etc. should be completely erradicated. I love my
partner dearly, and when I`m with him, I`m happier than I ever imagined
possible. Surely it`s the love that matters, not the colour?
Unfortunately, his parents are very unhappy about our relationship, and
have consequently arranged his marraige to someone else. Now he is torn
between his love for me and his loyalty to his family. We are both
heartbroken. It is other people that create the problems, not the
difference in culture itself.
And also, I would appreciate advice on the arranged marraige situation.
If anyone has any thoughts, please feel free to email me. -- Sheona , 0106762m@student.gla.ac.uk |
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This is a really conflicting topic. I think it is up to the person to
choose who to be with or not. It should not matter the race, culture,
religion of that person. It depends on the relationship and if that couple
can make it work. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy. But thats a
part of life, to open up to new experiences but to never forget your
own. so i think, its fine as long as the couple and family can make it
work and set aside all the differences. -- Amanpreet , indianqueen84@yahoo.com |
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I
think inter-racial marriages are very conflictable issue. as a youth
raised up partly in India but mostly in Canada I have experienced both
sides of the story and I think that inter-racial marriages really depend
on what your family values and beliefs are. -- Sandeep , sandeepb_100@hotmail.com |
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It`s inconceivable to me for anyone to suggest that our "founding"
mothers/fathers, (of our species that is) had any intention to classify,
categorize, or stratify us according to the avenue by which we choose to
reach our higher power. In fact, the notion itself reeks entirely of the
human imagination. The ability, rather I would say the privilege ordained
to human beings, in that two people, thru love/marriage, have the
ability to open their hearts to one another and become one is a sanctity I
feel we shouldn`t so easily forget. To corrupt the mind with something
as petty as inter-racial marriage only works to divide rather than
bridge our ace, that is, the human race. Incidentally, I am an atheist, who
is the product of two proud and loving Sikh parents, whom have always
encouraged me to speak my mind and challenge convention. -- B , rushpark@cosmo.com |
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I
do not have a strong objection to inter-racial relationships. On the
subject of marriage, I do believe that it is better to marry someone
with similar background and culture. Marriage is difficult enough when
between people of same background; inter-racial marriages add to the
difficulties especially as it comes to children and how to raise them. I
am personally involved in an inter-racial relationship however we are
beyond having to worry about children and we are also living in an area
where it is more acceptable since we have a very diverse population in
this area. It does pose a problem occasionally as it pertains to the
two families and how we go about doing every day things. -- Irene , irene_cseh@yahoo.com |
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I
was very intrigued by everyone`s opinions on inter-racial or
inter-religion marriages. So I decided to throw my two cents in. I am an 18 yr.
old Punjabi Christian girl(very rare indeed). I am seriously involved
with a Punjabi Jatt. We`ve been together for almost 3 years now and we
are deeply in love. We want to get married in the future. His parents
know about me and do not object to our relationship or the fact that we
one day want to raise a family together. My parents view is a totally
different story. When they found out about us they automatically said
"NO!" Without getting to know him or giving him a chance. He is a great
guy, very culutred and hardworking. Most of all he is devoted to me. We
both agree that if we did not have to deal with eachothers families we
could live happily together. We have discussed how we`re going to make
it work time after time and we always get stuck at the wedding. My
parents want me to have a Christian wedding and his parents would never step
in a church. His parents want to have a wedding in a gurudwara and my
parents wont bow down(matha neh tekhna). So what are we to do? We
thought of eloping and that would still cause the same amount of pain to our
parents. All I know is that I love him more than anything else in this
world and I can`t be w/anyone else. For all of you who immediately
dismiss inter-racial or religion marriages please before expressing your
thoughts think of people like me. People who made the so-called mistake
to fall in love and to care for that person unconditionally. We`re not
trying to ruin cultures or families. We`re just trying to live. SSA -- Naina , PunjabdiShaan@aol.com |
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Well back up what is this? basically i think wat was said here is of
nothing...i am a true polynesian girl whos married a punjabi man for about
5 years we have 5 kids are half punjabi and half polynesian so
therefore they are a breed of PUNJABINESIAN and there is no problem with our
marriage, our marriage was arranged i never knew i would love him as much
as he did, and now today we are so much in love that we cannot be apart
from each other for even a second our kids see love all around
everywhere in our home, and as one says as long as you love each other dearly
thats all that matters - i am a very very strong minded woman and a
woman who is very hard to please if anyone gets in my way between my
husband and i they ought to be careful because there will never be anyone
that can tear us apart, i strongly believe too that it is love that keeps
us going, till death should the only time one aparts..MARK MY WORDS FOR
IT!!!!... -- polynesian , sindel_feva4eva@msn.com |
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I
think inter racial marriges are okay. What really matters is that you
love someone and know that youcould stay happy with them for the rest of
your life. Nobody should ba against another religion. -- Richa , qtpunjaban69@yahoo.com |
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well i think itz all aight. i know it from da experience. my bhabi is
christian and my bro is sikh they both are religious.they always think a
way where both them are not gonna get offended.so it depends on da
couple if they wanna give it everything they got that mean is that u gotta
respect. -- pRiNcEss , princessx420x@hotmail.com |
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the context i`m writing in is hindu-sikh. i don`t understand why if both
ppl in a relationship can accept & respect each others religion and "be
a part of it" without converting should they be a problem to the family
memmbers? i understand that there was a bloody history and that hindus
killed sikhs and vice versa. i`m born&bread in uk, yet remain very much
a hindu. the brits killed many hindu`s. we forgave and moved on.
hinduism and sikhism is very similar in both morals and principles is it not.
can someone help clear the confussion, i don`t understand why me being
hindu makes me a bad/evil person in the eyes of 1st generation sikh
people.
i did`n do anything wrong and the friction of our history was`nt my
fault, so why must i be punished?
jes
ordang@yahoo.com -- jesika , ordang@yahoo.com |
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I
just joined this site to learn more about one side of me that I missed.
My father is Sikh from Amritsar and my mother is multiracial US (Black,
Irish, Native American) which makes me very much multiracial.
Interracial/bi-cultural relationships should not be a problem yet human
nature and pride creates a problem. Initially respect for both cultures
should be displayed. Learning and supporting both cultures can be done
if it is discussed or one might choose to embrass one culture. Why is
it such a big issue in the world that ppl should limit themselves and
their hearts to certain races/cultures/regions? It seem that spiritual
and mental evolvement really has made much progress in the 21 century.
Unfortunate..Hmmmmm
From reading the comments on the board it seems the fear is that the
culture will get watered down. Will it? If one is strong in their
beliefs and cultural practices then your significant would appreciate,
respect, and want to learn and support those beliefs. -- T , sonicecho01@gmail.com |
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i
am very in love with a punjabi guy and seeing as how im muslim and hes
seikh im not sure if we;ll get to be together but i would cut my arms
off if we could stay together forever! i think its sad that people argue
so much and cant see passt al the stupid stuff down to the two souls
that are in love, i know he loves me to death but because of societys
pressure and his family when the time comes who can say if our love is
strong enoughp? could i ask him to giver up his family 4 me? -- fatimah , fatimahirani@yahoo.com |
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I
think it is fine as long as you love the person you are going to marry
or are married to dearly. After all marriage is an institution that
binds two souls together, baser things like colour of skin does not matter
at all. I am absolutely for it. And as for the people who say that
interracial marriages could ruin one`s culture, I would like to ask them
one question, what is more important in life, culture or happiness
?Culture is man made whereas marriages and the union of two souls are made in
heaven. -- Ronojoy , ronojoybasu@rediffmail.com |
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What century is this? The 21st I seem to recall - and yet some people
still see a problem with interratial relationships?! What exactly is
the problem? I have read on this forum that some see it as leading to a
dilution of their cultures/religion. I`ve never heard such crap! It
is up to you to decide whether you keep your culture/religion or not.
If your wife/husband says that you are not allowed to follow your own
religion then sorry chaps, but you married the wrong guy/girl!
However, that doesn`t mean that arranged marriages produce better
marriages. Some work, some don`t... that`s life! You may not hear of
divorce as much, with arranged marriages, but maybe that has something to do
with the fact that the women are forced to put up with unhappy (and
sometimes very unpleasant) marriages. The woman`s own parents will stand
by and let her husband beat her up, because they don`t want the family
to be `shamed`!!! I ask again... what century are we living in?!?
Shouldn`t religion teach wisdom?
I believe Sikhism may say something about having to marry another
Sikh.... but you can be white and still be a Sikh. I`ve seen many an Asian
guy wearing a turban, down the pub drinking a pint and smoking fags!
So is he still a Sikh, just because he calls himself a Sikh? I don`t
follow any particular religion, but I`m sure I`m closer to being a Sikh
than most people who claim to be!
I`ve also noticed some people saying that interracial relationships are
great - huh??! What... ALL of them? Every single one?! The fact is,
ANY marriage can be good or bad, regardless of whether the marriage was
arranged or not. Surely, the point is that people should have the
choice of whether they WANT an arranged marriage or not? There`s nothing
wrong with either way, but the individual actually getting married
should be able to `genuinely` choose what they want.
God gave us life to be together, not to isolate and divide each other.
-- CJ , cj.hazard@virgin.net |
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I
believe our gurus were very practical while they created are religion.
every guru has added one or the other logical thing in our religion.
and i think if we had any of our gurus here live he would never deny a
inter cast marriage. Our gurus never were against any religion. peace
harmony help and LOVE are the pillars of our religion. -- Preet Pann , preetpann@yahoo.com |
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Hi everyone. i`m a 19 year old student from trinidad and i found this
site while researching for a assignment and i jus couldn`t leave without
putting my say! this issue is prevalent but fastly going in my country.
it isn`t of race but of religion and the struggle to let love conquer
all! i personally believe that interracial/interreligious marriages
should totally be continued; if u look at the trend set by our youths
todayu will see that everyone is mixing i would liketo call that true unity.
my final say is that objections to other persons because of their
religion or race can only happen if it is instilled in our minds from a very
early age.my personal creedo is that whereever there`s a will there`s a
way and for every elimination there must be a substitution. ONE LUV -- jenelle , shortifensom@hotmail.com |
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I
am a caucasian Christian male who has fallen in love with an american
desi. She loves me also. Her parents have now arranged a marriage to a
sihk man and it is breaking my heart. Am I and are we, better off to
just let it happen? Isn`t it true that all you need is love? Isn`t love
strong enough to overcome the barriers of religion and culture, if you
both respect the other persons culture and religion and we both do.
danielmail@rogers.com -- dan , danielmail@rogers.com |
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I
feel that our culture is ignorant, narrow minded, and self centered.
Yes, I am a product of an interracial relationship. I am Sikh (not really
practicing)(University student) and my girlfriend who is my best
friend, soul mate is Portuguese. My girlfriend (who is a grade 8 teacher)
and I have been together for two years now and my parents don?t know that
we are together (her parents know about our relationship, and love me
unconditionally). I read the scriptures (Japji) of the instructions of
how a person is to live on earth, the scriptures tell me to respect
myself, my family, and the people around me. Live life to my fullest, be
honest, be loyal, and be true to myself. Love yourself. God put me here
on this earth for a reason. That no matter what happens God will always
be with you, and lastly WE ARE ALL GODS CHILDREN. No where have I read
in the scriptures that I should marry a person who does not practice
the same religion as I do. It?s the culture that we live in, which defies
who we should marry. I am sure that my parents would love her
unconditionally, but I know that it is not what my mother feels about my
girlfriend it is what my fucking aunty, or next door neighbor, the person who
walks my dog, is going to think. Who the fuck cares, honestly. I have
lived my life as if I am color blind and the only judgment I can make
about another person is with my heart and not my eyes. If the person who
walks my dog or the thousand of aunties that each desi person has can
not accept that my love for my girlfriend is true and pure, SUCK IT UP.
AND READ YOUR SCRIPTUES, NOT JUST TO READ THEM BUT TO PRACTICE THEM. -- jesse , enigma_3k@hotmail.com |
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I
am 22 year old South Indian Mulsim, and I am dating a Punjabi Hindu who
I intend to marry. Many of you feel that interreligious and
interracial marriages water down the culture. But my experience was different.
I was looking for those characteristics in a man which Islam taught,
and I never seemed to find that in the Muslim men I talked to. When I
met Navtej, I was surprised to find that he had all of those
characteristics. He was probably the first progressive Indian I had ever met.
Since we have been together, I have encouraged Navtej to study hinduism
and follow some of those teachings. He has never discouraged me from
studying Islam either. Every religion teaches us to be good people. I do
not really feel that is open to interpretation. We all know that
gossiping and bigotry are bad. We can hide behind a veil of our religions,
and pretend that just because we are on religion or another, we do not
take part in these types of actions, but it wont make us good people,
no matter how much money you contribute to your temple or mosque. -- Ameera , rajkumari815@yahoo.com |
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I
was born in 2 a Muslim family in Manchester,then London, then Bham....
and then my parents got divorced. Since then I have lived with my Mom
who now has since found sumthing else 2 believe in,but currently liv
with my Dad in London coz im studyin wer he livs.I personally dnt lead an
Islamic way of life. And I wud like2 remind that interacial is
different races and intereligion is different religions.i dnt have a problem
with n e.I was linked 2 the most beautiful Jatt guy I`ve ever seen not 2
long ago.I dnt kno if ppl wil have somat2 say bout wot im gna say,but i
really dnt have n e love for these pakistani/so-called Muslemaans
around at the moment.Im a
Pakistani(rajistani/bilauchistani/lahore/pathann-im a cocktail!!)I c them as narrow minded &r so quick2 judge sum1-maybe
u shud do ur research once again PROPERLEY n c that YOU as a Muslim
shudnt judge.Who r they @the end of the day?I`d prefere 2 b with an Indian
guy than a Pakistani purley for the reason that they cnt judge me coz
im not the same as them.Pakistanis wud judge me coz im Pakistani
myself-I dnt stay behinde closed doors,cook(i can tho),clean(easy neway)-get
trained 2 b a housewife.That jus nt me,so wen they c me goin out clubbin
or wearin certain clothing or wot not im considered "a slag". WHY? Coz
they have old fashioned views n have no mind of their own coz they
follow the older generations way of life, which,lets face it, is dated.
This Jatt i was linked 2 felt exactly the same towards Sikh guys tho-y
judge, i dunno y. But I hope I`ll find sum 1 like him again sumday-I wud b
more than happy 2 marry him.The way i c it is that marriage is UR
decision and UR choice.My Dad will NOT have a say in who I marry. My Mom jus
wants me 2 b happy, regardless of race/religion. Yeh so marryin sum 1
who is nt a Muslim (even tho I dnt follow Islamic requirments)or a
Pakistani wudnt phase me at all. Jus b happy coz its UR life at the end of
the day. Besides, if u have kids u`ll have a nice story 2 tell em!!
Hopefully. mail me baby_d578@hotmail.com -- dania , tamanna@hotmail.com |
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Hello everybody!! I live in Croatia, small European country and despite
the fact that nationalism and religious intolerance were enormous during
war time(1990-1993)i never felt like that. We all live on this
beautifull planet and each person and each culture in this world is giving
benefit and beauty to this life as a hole. All organized religions are
taling the same truth and it can be pointed to only one word - LOVE. So how
can i love somebody less because he(or she) is identified with some
religion or country, we are all pure love. Few months ago i met very
precious young man from Punjab and i dont think that the fact that he is
punjabi could change may feelings. By the way, bhangra music is great, i
play it some times on the radio station i work on. So Punjab sound is
played "far away" in Europe. Thank you Jai Guru Dev -- sanja , dream9dance@yahoo.com |
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Well being in an interracial relationship is fine because you do learn
about a different culture.
I am currently dating a Punjabi guy for a year and a half now and I`m
Cambodian. I am deeply in love with this guy, he treat me with respect
and i do the opposite. But our relationship is a secret. He know his
family wont accept me now, until i finish college and have a nice job.
Even though interracial relationship could be a real pain in the a--, i
think its worth it, if u love a person deeply, then go for it, because
i will. -- Vannee , vmak@ucdavis.edu |
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I
think if you love somebody it should not matter the race, religion, or
culture. I am currently with a wonderful man from Punjab. We have been
together for 2 years and I have excepted his way of life and he has
excepted mine. I have two kids that he has also excepted and has taken
care of them since we have been together. Love knows no boundries. I say
go for it. His family is so nice to me and mine to him. For anyone who
disagrees than you don`t know what you are missing. ME -- brenda , gurnamsingh@prodigy.net |
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hi
i m 15 and Ithink taht marriges should be arranged in a way u see ur
parents should ask u about ur life partner or what is ur ideal and make a
dession on that base they should tell u tahat ur being married to that
person etc and ask ur opinion and u should meet that person before
making any dession.AND understanding would be developed side by side.and
believe me it would be a good adventure type of thing! any ways its ur
own dession.any ways ur life partner is made in heaven when ur born.any
way its a good effort by Jasjeet to get all of opinions togather and
share thoughts.thanx
zahra Ali -- zahra , hussain_syed86@hotmail.com |
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Wow...interesting topic, especially considering the events of the world.
I just came across this page, I have no idea how old the topic is, but
it`s just after Sept. 11, 2002 now. I`m a white American, for the
record. And with myself and my family, there hasn`t been much of a
distinction with an interracial relationship. Not because it hasn`t happened,
but that my family and I have just not batted an eye at it.
About three years ago, I dated an Arabic girl. Not Arabic American, but a citizen from the UAE. We met on the net, and when she went to college, she came to the San Francisco Bay Area. We met, and started going out, and had a very fruitful, rewarding relationship for almost a year. There wasn`t much of a culture clash there, though it was entertaining to be there when she found out one of her new best friends in SF was a lesbian. But she was open minded about things, and I`d like to think I was as well. The differences in upbringings never came up with us, because we were both rooted in the present. My family didn`t bat an eye when I brought her home the first time, and when I got a chance to meet her family, they did nothing but welcome me with open arms.
Even aside from that, I`ve desired or had relationships with girls of
all cultural backgrounds, from Africa and Europe to India, Japan and the
Phillipines. As long as the people involved have something in
common, and something special, inter-racial relationships can work.
And, on a side note, Glad to see you survived Hillsdale, Jasjeet. Nice
Website. |
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I
think every one of you who is racist and claims to be a muslim is a
liar. I am an American woman who married a man from Pakistan. He is
Punjabi. He is also a Muslim. I recently converted to Islam. I keep my
husband happy and he keeps me happy. His whole family loves me and has
no problem with the fact that my skin is white and not copper. For all
of you F-A-K-E- Muslims out there, if you really read the Quran Majid,
you would have read that racism is not permitted. If a person is going
to convert, it is not a problem. You are all a bunch of uneducated
idiots whom Allah has chosen to mislead. Allah is the one who makes
people fall in love with their predetermined mate. If anyone had any
intelligence here, they would have realized that interracial/religious marriage is
nothing to Allah. It is just 2 people who happen to fall in love and get
married. It is none of anyone else`s business. That is one major
problem with the world today. Everyone thinks that everyone else`s business
is their business. Go back and read the Quran Majid, you liars. -- Shannon , daysleepernightcreeper@yahoo.com |
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As
I read all of the thoughts and comment written here, I can see
everyones point of view and in some ways I agree with you all. Yes,
inter-racial relationships change alot of things in a person, whether its
considered good or bad changes, are left completely to the couple`s descretion.
However, for those who have been raised to arranged marriages and
certain religions, are also right in their own way. There really is no
"color" issue here, just religions and customs. What one must remember is
that your faith is your own, you have no right to force it onto others,
especially those you love. I am a Puerto Rican woman and I`m deeply in
love with a young man who is Hindu/Punjabi and do not see anything
wrong with the both of us being together. For those of you who have found
love outside of your race, I`m very happy for you. I believe you
should respect your differences and try to understand each other`s culture
and find a common thread among you that in time will become a strong
rope and anchor for your relationship. For those of you who do not
believe in relationships outside of your religion/race, I ask you to be more
understanding of those of us who are in these relationships, after all,
we may one day become family. -- Yvonne , qteehoney@hotmail.com |
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I
really don`t understand why some people speak of a culture as if it
were some sort of static entity. Certainly, cultures do change, as
Hinduism has changed since its "birth" (if that can even be defined), or
Sikhism was born, it may have influenced the Punjabi culture (which one
came first?). My point is that if one moves to a country where one`s
culture is not the predominate one, one has to expect young minds to be
open to the culture and therefore become assimilated. It is only natural
for people to want to be like those around them. Those of you who
complain that our culture is dying need to reexamine what your are saying:
basically you are opposing human nature itself and it is completely
foolish to even make such an attempt because you can never stop it. It
will happen -- maybe not to you because you are against it, but at least
some percentage of punjabi`s will. Whether you marry a Punjabi or not,
you still are exposed, and so are your children and your children will
want to be like those around them and will be drawn to other cultures.
I am Punjabi/Sikh (not practising), and married to a Canadian of European decent. I personally believe that nobody has the right to tell me whether my marriage to my husband is right or wrong -- because it really isn`t anyone`s choice but our own. Interracial marriages are only difficult if you make them difficult. If you make them easy, they can be easy. Sometimes families can make things difficult, and I feel that`s a shame. Really, the only thing that matters is the morals and values that the 2 people share and that they love and are good for each other. What more is there to ask for?
I know I`ll probably get slammed for this, but I personally did not
want to marry a Punjabi/Sikh man. I dated a few, and found that they were
far too focused on just being Punjabi and being "men", you know, like
"machismo". I found that extremely irritating. And I don`t mean to
throw a blanket onto every indian male, but most of the ones I`ve met were
like that. Being an extremely independent woman who doesn`t like to be
treated like a "humble subservient woman", I decided that the Indian
thing was not for me. So what`s wrong with that? What would have been
better? For me to force myself to marry a desi and be miserable for the
rest of my life? Heck no! I`d be much better off marrying someone who
treated me as an equal and with whom I could have a mutually respectful
marriage... and that`s just my 2 cents` worth. |
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I am a 26 year old white American and I am recently engaged to an Indian/Hindu from Mumbai. I personally disagree with all the negative thoughts about interacial couples. Rohan and I are very much in love and throughout our courtship we have had a wonderful time learning each others cultures. I can now speak Hindi and can cook all his favorite Indian dishes. He has also adapted very well to my culture. We are both equally proud of where we come from and we now both have the education and respect for each others culture to extend that to our future children. I feel it is very important to understand and respect both cultures equally, but interracial relationships should not be condemned all together. When handled appropriately they can be a beautiful thing. Because we respect each other equally I feel that we will be extended while raising beautiful children that are proud to be both Indian and American. -- Jessi , jessie_w@bellsouth.net |
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Well i think interracial is ok now.. is we are all living in the same community then we all go to school, work, live, party, ect.. with all races. so obviously there is going to be interracial marriage now. and if people cannot accept it then they should stay living where there is only 1 culture. -- Brandi , brandi@kitti.cc |
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I found this site while surfing the internet looking for articles on interracial dating. I am Vietnamese & Chinese and am currently dating an Indian. We have been together for almost two years. He is Hindi and I am Buddhist. At the beginning of the relationship we had no problems with our different ethnic backgrounds and religion. However he has recently told me that both his intermediate and extended family are prejudice against Chinese and/or Vietnamese people. He has always told me that he loves me and wants to marry me until recently. Now he feels that he can not marry me because I am not Indian. He has never stood up for us (Chinese and Vietnamese people) because he believes it is not proper for him to correct elders. I understand his perspective because I was also taught to respect my elders. I do not want him to chose between his family and me. I believe in respecting your parents. Yet I am still deeply hurt. Instead of finding a way for both his intermediate and extended family to accept me, he wants to break up. My parents know I am dating him and do not have a problem. Just because I am not Indian does not mean I can not learn and like the culture. In the year 2002, we can still not look beyond the color of our skin and instead focus on who the person really is. I understand that many problems arise in an interracial relationship with culture and religion but all relationships have problems. It`s overcoming those problems that make us stronger. Being Southeast Asian does not define who I am. It is just a term to reference where my ancestors are from. I see no problem with interracial dating. -- Linda |
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I just came across this site while surfing the web for some punjabi sites and found this quite interesting forum .I am a research scholar and I personally don`t beleive in races or cast or religion for recognising or rather differentiating people.If in this materialistic world you can find a person who really/truly loves you( whatever your defination of true love means) you are reallly one of the lucky few . What is the surity that the partner form the same religon can understand you any better than from a different religion? I feel its just a matter of "matching wavelengths" and "catching the similar frequencies "which makes the life better and ejoyable for a couple rather than similar religion or races!!! -- Gunjeet , stary@rediffmail.com |
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I think arranged marriages are more successful. Only a person from Punjab, who has an arranged marriage can answer this clearly. Your posted answer shows ambiguity due to lack of knowledge, experience and scope of Punjabi culture. Now things are different but when I was in Punjab, I seldom heard of divorce. It was a news item. There are innumerable advantages of arranged marriage. More later I am a slow typist. thanks. -- Jujhar , ajujharsingh@juno.com |
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I am an 18 yr old shia muslim girl. I believe that marriages innvoving two different religions or cultures is the first road to failure. Yeah ok, those two people might love each other and it may have no affect on them as a couple, but wat about their kids. I know loads of people whose mum is hindu, dad is muslim, or a christian man and a bengali girl and so on. And the kids are completely lost. They have no identity of their own. They dont know which path is the right path. Whether to follow islam or sikhism, or christianity or hinduism, to follow bengali ways or english ways etc etc.As a parent it would be very selfish of me to marry some one ofa different religion, as i would like my kids to follow what i believe , and my husband would probably want them to follow a different way. its a very hard and complicated issue to deal with. How are we supposed to preserve cultures, traditions and beliefs that our p! eople have protected for years if we begin to dilute them down. Then there would be nothing else. Religions will start to change slowly, people will start bending the truth. All you have to do is look how messed up our societies are todays, and look especially at the children of these people. Why create more problems. But this debate is a two way debate, it also depends upon the circumstances. If you would like to chat more about this,please e-mail ria at Rudegyal_ria@hotmail.com. Thanx. c ya!! -- Ria , rudegyal_ria@hotmail.com |
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I am a white female from CT. I am dating an african-american man from Jamaica. He lives here now. We met at work and started dating. We fell in love with eachother. He is the most incredible man I`ve ever met and dated. He`s so beautiful inside and out. I always looked apon life as, what if I were born blind. One reason because I would not take site for granted. I would learn to love in words of the soul and action of the heart. I would not see color, ugliness, prettiness, or shape. I would only know to love for what my heart can feel. And even I havn`t fell in love with the another race, I would feel the same. We are all the same inside. I do not see any difference in the man I love, other than he is the opposite sex. But I do love him and I will let no one stand in the way of that, especially not something as simple as a color. -- Jeanie , JAC6282@aol.com |
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I am curious what you guys think of this: I am a jatt Sikh, (Not practicing but I do recognise the main events and I have the utmost respect for the Guru Granth Sahib), born and raised in a western culture - What, if anything, is wrong with me marrying a Muslim girl? I know my father would do his best to avoid that, but what do you guys/girls in my generation think? Let me know. Please Email me at man_9u@yahoo.com. -- Manny , man_9u@yahoo.com |
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I have never given the interracial marriage debate much thought untill I read all of the comments on this forum. I am in favor of interacial marriages even though I am not in one. However, I did marry a single white woman who had a son of mixed racial blood.(I love him dearly) So my step-son is half east indian and caucasian. One thought has been mentioned in this forum a number of times. The thought is this, that interracial marriages (if allowed to continue unchecked) will ultimately lead to the destruction of a culture. Forgive me if this seems a bit blunt, but that`s a weak excuse for a weak culture. Before you tar and feather me, hear me out. If interracial marriages are a threat to a culture then I wonder how strong that culture really is if it can`t survive interracial marriages. Every culture has it`s good and bad points. If a culture is going to die, it will happen from within, not from external forces. I think that the Jews are a very good example of a culture surviving because of it`s inner-strengths and not collapseing from external forces. How many times have they been subjected to genocide and survived. They are probably the most hated people group on the planet and yet the greatest surviving people group (in case if your asking... no I am not a Jew.) and you have to admire them for that. The intolorant view of those that are against interracial marriages is one of the contributing factors to the weakening of our human race. Intolorance is ultamately going to plunge this world into World War 3. I am not saying that we have to agree with each other but we do have to get along or we will all suffer the consequences. I do applaude those that have made the distinction between interracial and interreligious marriages. If you can`t tell the difference between those two then e-mail me because interreligious marriages are a another can of worms. Anyways, enough of my thoughts I hope they have been insightfull. -- Anonymous , elffree@hotmail.com |
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Hi I am 17 years old and I am the product of an inter-racial marriage. My mom is Punjabi and my dad is african amercian. I choose to follow the religion of my mother so I am sikh. I have a problem with the people that look at my differently and treat me different. It;s not just people I don`t know it is also my family. It is very hard to be self confident when people don`t accept who you are. It has been very hard for me because they don`t just treat me bad they look down on my mom. I am a living example that you can overcome all the adversity because I am now the president of out International Club. And I am more indian then alot of my cousins and friend. So for everyone who doesn`t agree to this I don`t think it is fair. This is america and we are here to change. If we do`t want change than we should keep all indian in India. I love the Indian cultural and I just wish I could be accepted and looked at equally. -- Sunita , mybabygirl23@aol.com |
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Actually, being of Punjabi-Sikh descent, it has been plastered into my mind that inter-religious marriages are not allowed, and will not be accepted. But, what is a person to do if they unknowingly fell in love with someone of different descent? I myself don`t know and I am in a really confused state right now. I didn`t mean to but I have fallen madly in love with a Tamil guy who I can`t live without(i think), and now as i turn 19, i have my parents bothering me about the fact that time is getting closer for them to find me a good husband. But my ultimate question is why can`t the guy i picked be good? Why do they assume him to be bad just cuz he`s a hindu? They will never allow me to marry him and knowing this i will never ask. I know that when an Indian couple gets married, the girl goes on and lives with her husbands family, so if I am not going to live with my family forevr then why not do what makes us both happy and marry out? If they truly loved me wouldm`t they eventually accept it? But, c`mon we all know Indian mentality. If society was ok with it then it wouldn`t matter who i marry, but since All Sikhs show that it is unacceptable, they won`t allow it, knowing that society will look down on them. Because they have their pride, which they won`t throw away for anyhting. But then why should I throw 3 years of hopes and dreams away for people who won`t even open their eyes to the new wave of life. As human beings we are suppose to be all equal. I am so confused. Please if someone knows what I should do, please e-mail me. But remember that I too love my mummy, and pappa. Thanx -- Sonia , S1151A6@hotmail.com |
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This forum apparently revolves around sikhism/punjab. But after reading some interesting thought here, I was compelled to put in my 2 cents. I have known a hindu/jain girl for more a little more than 4 years and iam shiite muslim who comes from a fairly conservative background. I have gone back and forth about marrying this wonderful girl...I am 27 years old and I am realizing that you get one shot at life, you might as well make the most of it. All the talk about the culture religion is fairly irrelevant, because this world is coming together and just baecause you are born with a certain religion and culture does not or should not be the deciding factor in choosing the one you love, We all may perform different rituals but in the end all the religions and cultures tell teaches you the same goo deeds. Don`t miss the chance to grow old with the person you love just for the sake of any particular religion or culture...you will regret it for the rest of your life. Folks on this forum have been talking about preserving the religion and culture. If you really think about it...it all comes down to the fact that if you eat rice for 10 years then rice becomes your culture...:) Its the human within that matters not what you are used to growing up with....My intent here is not to offend anybody here, but it boils down to the fact what your priorities are in life..There is no right or wrong here...Its all subjective and perception. If any thoughts drop me an email... -- Raza , razaali73@hotmail.com |
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I am doing a report on interracial marriages, although I already had feelings on this topic I have found more strength to my research. I do not believe that interracial relationships are bad. It is the couple`s own choice. I believe that they will go through hard times because it is an interracial relationship but that shouldn`t stop love. I admit I`ve never been in an interracial relationship but if I ever did get into a relationship that involved to races it wouldn`t bother me. People just need to look and see that we all bleed the same color of blood, we have feelings and that we are all human. People deserve to not be judged by the color of their skin. Skin doesn`t make someone a bad person, look to the heart and find the good in others. -- Tianne , speedsitup@hotmail.com |
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Well personally (me being a white girl) why do people even judge people? Color is only somthing you see, you can`t see what is inside of them. I am very attracted to colored men. So if I was to be really tan and there was a fair skined person standing next to me dose that make them superior to me?....NO! People who are against colored people need to accept colored people because they will always be here and they are just like us and we are NOT superior to them! I know some really great white people, but guess what?...I also know some really great blacks!!!! And I think that interracial marriges are great! If you are in love anything can happen color should NOT stand in your way! So if a 42 year old man marrys a 22 year old woman that is a mixed marrige so we all should be against that to?....NO age and color makes no difference LOVE is LOVE. The deff. of love dose not have two deffinitons (one for colored and one for black, right?) we all use the same deffinition. -- Nicole , Meg_Girl2001@Yahoo.com |
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Inter racial marriages aren`t as rosy as they appear to be especially if you come from conservative,reserved ethnic backgrounds.No doubts about the fact that you should marry someone you love and understand but then,you must be a very strong individual to take the criticism from your society.Most important of all,you never know how well the products of such a marriage are going to handle this double identity.Will they be as strong as you? -- Amandeep , amandeep2029@yahoo.com |
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I am a frequent visitor of the discussion groups on this site. I have read almost every message on inter-racial marriages and for the exception of two messages no one is talking about inter-racial marriages. You are talking about inter-religious marriages. There is a great difference between inter-racial and inter-religious marriages. The Sikh religion teaches us that all people are equal and should be treated as such. It does not teach against inter-racial marriages. It does require, however, that if you are Sikh you must marry a Sikh. The Sikh religion is open to any race that wants to follow it. That was Guru Nanak`s primary quest. To bring all together under one belief. The belief in one God. I know many that have converted to Sikhism and are not of Indian origin. Granted those I know that have taken the Sikh religion also follow the Punjabi lifestyle. But not all. This world needs to come together under one God. We are different and we will stay different. That does not mean that our culture must die out. That is up to us and the grandparents and all others that are able to teach. As long as we have the desire to keep our culture alive we will, but it has nothing to do with race. -- Arleen Scott , bobbiji@netzero.net |
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why can`t we love anyone we wish to love weither what culture or race you are what matter is that you love and care for the person,it`s ok to love with out for getting who you are and where you come from.God put all of us in this world to love one another not hate and fight. -- Belinda Furnells , b4a1@aol.com |
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I am a product of an interacial relationship. And love knows no age, no color, and some people even belive that love knows no gender. Now a days I think nobody cares anymore you love who you love -- Justin Jones , Aurbrey_Green@Yahoo.com |
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I am currently goin out with a 16 year old Muslim lad, I myself am 16 & white. Our relationship is totally secret & has been from the start, we have been together for 10 months now, our relationship has been kept secret because of the views of his family. I am very much in love with him, & he with me. But we both know & have all along that we will never be able to be together forever. It hurts so much to know this but it is something we both have to accept. He loves & respects his parents far too much to ever disobey their marriage rules, I don`t blame him for this. It just hurts me to know that he wants to be with me, & I want to be with him but we can`t be. I will love him forever & he knows this, & I will NEVER forget him. I believe in interracial relationships (obviously) but only if the 2 people in this relationship are prepared for the worst. Me & ***** have been all along, it doesn`t make it easier nothing ever could believe me it just prepares you. I would really like to speak to someone going through the same experience, as right now I feel alone & that no-one understands. My e-mail address is Mancunianbabe@hotmail.com -- Rachel Lavin , Mancunianbabe@hotmail.com |
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I think interacial marriages are very wrong and should be stopped. Your kids need to know where they come from. Also racism is still an issue so your kid would get crap from both races -- Amanda , 123@yahoo.com |
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One must not forget that although love is blindfull bliss external factors such as the rest of the universe can silently change our lives. Contouring our actions, thoughts and emotions with no regret, recourse or trace. -- Kirani , jv@hotmail.com |
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I am a Sikh, but not a very practicing one. I have strong atheist views, however I respect entirely the doctrine of equality to mankind completely, this is what I like about Sikhism. When it comes to inter-racial marriages, there is somewhat of a problem. The cultural value does get somewhat `watered down`. It is impossible to retain a culture through mixing, a good example is of the Romani people who right now are desperately struggling to revive their lost culture, one could see that just in 900 years they don`t remember why they left India in the first place. This general fear is what poses on Sikhism, it seems like sikhism could never die and could remain intact completely, but we musn`t forget that time degrades everything, and only man helps this deteriorating process. To stop inter-racial marriages is an excellent way to preserve what could be lost. Such as how the Zoorastrians do, an ancient religion almost wiped out by genocide approximately 4,000 years ago is still intact due to this simple principle.You may all be thinking. Why am I considering inter-racial marriages such a threat. Well, in today`s society (western), we`ve been mixed in this social melting pot, and are accustomed and sometimes expected to live up to what others think and to sometimes forget what we are to `fit in`. ANd since most are going abroad from India, more of us are exposed to this, and generally all of us decide to stray in this direction. Remember, it`s only a matter of time. When it`s too late, we could never turn back. azrahel -- Azrahel , azrael@maildistrict.com |
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Well if both agree to live together without forgeting their culture, religion, customs, tradation etc.. In Sikh religion i guess there is nothing mention against interacical marriage. There will be nothing wrong with the couple for interacical marriage, but the main problem is that their next generation. Their childrens, grandchildren will forgot everything and their will be less relatives which means than it will be danger for sikh religion. If both couple will devote to one side of culture, religion than it will be safe whether it goes dowwwwwnnn. Gurfateh, -- Vicky Singh , vickysingh@sikhfoundation.com |
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I was reading a thought by sukh dhillon the inter-racial marriages are messed up but why ? He didn`t give any sulution if and if there is a problem of getting married in another religion or race.So always write a solution if there is a problem. personally I think even we as sikh`s has problems like jats, bhappa`s , lubana sikhs, mazhabi`s etc. Now let me ask Sukh Dhillon if he is practicing sikhism as being a jat will he marry his son or daughter to another lubana, mazhabi or bhappa? If not then i don`t think that we can comment on anybody.If our own house is not clean or secure. So first lets clean our house then think about our neigbhours.Mr thind Plz in your next thought ask about prcticing sikhism or politics in sikhism coz I want to know what we as a sikh think especially about langar maryada,AKAL TAKHAT SAHIB`s Hukumnama`s and Akali leadership.SSA -- Gurmeet Singh , grewal67@hotmail.com |
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Being a Sikh, i`ll never understand how a fellow Sikh could marry out of his/her religion. In essence it waters down the religion. When people say kids get the best of both worlds, I really dont agree because sooner or later the child will grow and will have to choose.Personally being a Sikh, if my child chose to raise themself in a different religion and it didnt bother me, then I can honestly say I should question what Sikhism means to me... Sikhs are struggling right now with their identity staying in tact and I personally believe mixed marriages is doing much to help that. Would a product of a half-Sikh mixed marriage sacrifice themselves for Sikhi, I think not. -- Jaspal Singh , jaspal_m@hotmail.com |
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Every person that I have spoken to, about this issue and even here in this discussion, stresses the point about losing the culture and not being able to stay in sync with each others cultural life. Not once do people think about Love and how it just overtakes everything in its way...no I`m not talking about the movies. Let me ask you guys something, when you see a girl or a guy do you ask them, "Excuse me but, what is your religion." Let me answer that question for you, no you do not. When an individual sees a person or meets a person, that individual is doing all that from her/his heart, where he/she feels something special for that person. I`m also aware of the fact that the elder people don`t want to hear that...but I just want to convey a simple message to them. When they watch movies (Hindi, and I know they all watch them) why do they cry when two people in love from different religion can`t be together because of the society and why do they come alive with pleasure when in the end they are together. If these individuals cannot accept the fact that their kids get involved with someone from a different religion, then simply stop watching the movies, stop crying, stop felling joyous. In the end, why don`t parents think that obviously there are these two human beings, and in the end that`s what they are, human beings, who are deeply in Love and feel that they can survive this entire emotional cultural roller coaster, then why not just let them be happy and let them be. I don`t think there is anything worse that could happen to a person then not being able to attain the person they Love, just because of the religious differences. -- Sunny , puttjattande@hotmail.com |
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My husband is Sikh and I am Irish. It has been difficult for us my family was very excepting of my husband but his family was not. We have been married for almost two years and have a beautiful son. My mother inlaw hates me and blames me for her ruined life. I have met too many Indians that expect to live in America and expect everyone to conform to their beliefs and ways of life. When I was in India I wore the proper clothes and was respectful of their ways. I am tired of Indians who want me to dress Indian in America just because I have an Indian husband. I am not Indian and my son will be raised to know both of our cultures. Indians tell me all the time that when you marry into an Indain family that you most act like them. I am sick and tired of of all of it, I am an American and will not change for anyone, it is time for you to except your surroundings and blend or go back to India! -- Raynor Mary Pat , mpatraynor@home.com |
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I think people should never forget their roots and should learn about their history but I think it`s time more Asians embraced interracial relationships. The basis of a marraige should be two people who care for each other and who would like to spend the rest of their lives together. If a person is decent and honourable it should not make any difference what race they are. If people are prepared to respect each other`s tradition and beliefs then there should be no problem with two different cultures uniting in marraige. -- Adam Smith , mauc06@dial.pipex.com |
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I have a few things to add to inter-relationship marriages.It all the same you marry who you really love (that`s if you found the special person) or you find someone who you think is right for you. I am married traditionally but was able to meet and be engaged for 1 year and it like everything else you meet someone at a club you date and bang( no not that bang) you hit it off and all works out. It just easier to when you marry someone in your own culture because this brings value to the culture as well as it being passed on. When you mix culture there is this culture clash this mix of culture depending on how different it is one another can either rip apart a family or make it harder on the family to adopt to the change. Some accept it very well because they live in that culture / environment or some just want to wanne be`s . The next time you parents want to get you hooked up believe in them because they brought you up and want the best for you and will not just pick some 2 fingered half laid bitch to bring home now. take care and keep sikhism alive and kicking.... -- Jasvinder , Jasvinder.Jassal@Compaq.com |
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I am an African American female who believes that there is so much to learn from another culture. The black experience in the U.S. has contributed so many positive things to society and when I have been in association with people from other cultures we learn and grow from our backgrounds. So many people dwell on the negative aspects and they never even try to open their eyes to the great qualities that each partner brings. Relationships break up because of intolerance of the others beliefs or personal thoughts. That can happen in any union no matter what race or religion. Respect , understanding, communication and love are the basis of any great couple. Only these can lead to a happy and fruitful bond. -- Yolanda , blackdove6@mindspring.com |
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I read all the comments and would say Inter-racial marriages are like any marriages they can last or the couple get a divorce. The biggest thing we all should remember is you both should respect one another and there beliefs prior to marriage and don`t make a big issue of it when you are married no one has priorty you are both equal. The person who said he knows that all Sikh girls from London are no longer virgins how would he know and if he want`s a virgin wife he too should be a virgin. -- Lakhbinder Dosanjh , lkdosanjh@hotmail.com |
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We are a White-Asian couple and are very much in love. We are both enjoying learning about each others cultures and Adam has started learning Urdu. We both want to teach our children about all cultures and ideas including our own. RE: Comment by Balraj amar@cbn.net.id we are both virgins and intend to stay as such until we`re married. We think its unfair to comment on Asian girls like that and a bit hypocritical when u seen to be doing exactly what your critisizing, or is it ok for men? -- Adam & Tania , adam_tania@hotmail.com |
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I don`t think interracial marriages are right cuz it hard to adjust ina different culture after marriage. I have personally never had a punjabi boyfriend because i live in a city where there are none but i know that i will marry a punjabi. I am dating a muslim right now and i already see the differences we have and we`ve only been together for a little bit. -- Anonymous , defaultuser@default.com |
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Well...I am a Gujurati...I am a teenager and I was born and raised here in the US. Everyday I think about how is would be like to be like my friends, to expierence others. Not sexually but just to talk to them knowing my parents don`t mind. But things aren`t so smooth. If you think about it, it`s not that you want to talk to another person out of your race but it is the feeling that your parents trust you enough to let you be and have good friends of the opposite sex. When Indian parents come to America they think that their family will be based upon Indian beleifs. They can`t make the Hindu culture become the American culture for their kids. The both have to mix. They both have to merge and become one. Either the kid or the parents will be dissappointed. That`s just the way it goes...unless you parents become more on the American side rather than the Indian. email me if you have comments. -- Anonymous , virality@ivprog.com |
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Since this is semi sikh site; i`d request not to confuse interracial marriages with interreligion marriages. Interracial marriages work equally fine as race is just a political fact, while inter religion marriages can end up in mess if both the partners are devout in their resp. religions as unlike race it is part of their daily life. -- A. Singh , aparsingh@yahoo.com |
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since this is semi sikh site;i`d request not to confuse interracial marriages with interreligion marriages.interracial marriages work equally fine as race is just a political fact. while inter religion marriages can end up in mess if both the partners are devout in their resp.religions as unlike race it is part of their daily life. aparsingh@yahoo.com There is nothing wrong with inter-racial relationships,both my children are half indian. Their father is Punjabi and a very caring loving father. When they were small we took them to different Temples.As they grew they are Amercanized but have great respect towards the Sikh religion and what it stands for. My son who is 16 now shows a greater intrest in the customs and music now than before. I encourage my children to be proud of their heritage. -- Sgil , sgil@pacbell.net |
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I`m an 18 year old product of this. I`m half irish/half moghul, and aside from the religious conflict that occured every so-often, it has been great. Many people who stick to their own race when marrying divorce, but my parents are content together.. I don`t believe they will ever divorce. As far as losing culture and religion, I believe I`ve gotten the best of both worlds. I can read Arabic, speak punjabi and urdu, and have all the culture any desi would have being brought up here as well as having my irish heritage too.. I believe it`s up to the parents... and punjabi`s are very competent, caring, and responsible parents.. I don`t think much culture will be lost in interracial marriages. -- Dave |
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Well i do agreed with arvinder and jimmy. i`m a 24 year sikh. i`m dating with the non-sikh but one thing is true, i`ll marry a kaur, thats because i know that the sikh religion is a reall good religion. people need good religion. my kid have to be a singh not williams, shakers or something. my mother doenst mind for my indonesian girlfriend ( i`m living in Jakarta-Indonesia) but she hopes she`ll have a sikh nau. but i dont agree with the western thinking of sikhs, i know many 19 years sikh girls are not virgin anymore in london, is that a good culture? do they know about religion? -- Balraj , amar@cbn.net.id |
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I am not a radical or an ultra-conservative, but whenever I look at today`s Punjabis (esp Sikhs) I see that there are so many who are losing their Kesh and Punjabiat after coming to Americas. I think, that amount of degeneration should be enough to stir our souls. We can`t afford to let our Dhiya te Put to marry non-Sikhs if we want Sikhism to stay alive and flourish in the 21st century. Hope that most of the Singhs and the Kaurs out there would agree. -- Arvinder Singh , arvinder@ramail.angelo.edu |
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Inter racial marriges r messed up! -- Sukh Dhillon , RHNS@email.msn.com |
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I think inter-racial marriages are a very big issue. Its very hard to adjust with someone who is non Punjabi and also religion is a very big thing when it comes to children. Before marriage everybody thinks they will be fine or they are "cool" but after a while they find out what went wrong. -- Jimmy Singh , Majnu6@aol.com |
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I think inter-racial marriages is fine as long as both of them are happily living together... By the way I have 2 sis married to non-Punjabi`s and I am so close to both of my bro-in-law. It`s a free world and free-thinking society nowadays. Any offence...mailto me -- Hemerjit , shjit@rhb.com.my |
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Of course anybody can marry anybody they wish but one culture will undoubtedly lose out. My wife is Australian and we live in her country. My children have no interest whatsoever in my culture or language. That`s life! But I would not change my wife for anything. -- Rufus Uulf , rufus@ne.com.au |
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A person should marry whom they love. Race, Color, Creed, Class Nationality doesn`t mean anything. If you marry within your own culture but aren`t happy, it make for a lonely future. I don`t believe that a person loses their cultural and traditional roots just by marrying outside their culture. Any culture can only be enhanced. After all, why should we spend the rest of our lives existing in one culture. Why not live the best of both? -- Lovely , raji@lightspeed.bc.ca |
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Hi everybody! I`m 18 years old Russian girl and I`m going to visit India next winter with my Indian boyfriend. I hope that everything will be fine and we`ll get married in the nearest future. -- Xenia , arkie@mail.wplus.net |
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Inter racial marriages are ok. Its all a matter of personal likes and disllikes this is not even a debatable topic. One marries who one likes/loves no matter what race , color or religion he/she may belong to . No fuss yaar. -- Boby , boby23@hotmail.com |
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I think that the culture one belongs to is very important. I believe that the culture of a person involved in an inter-racial relationship disitegrates. That person can not live according to his or her own culture, because he or she has to respect the culture of his or her partner. The person`s culture is not strong as it would be if he or she married his or her own kind! This is the problem today, that people are not as proud and strong about their own culture, and an inter-racial relationship does not help that fact. -- Ravinder Arora |
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They are totally ok!!! Everyone should experience an inter-racial relationship! People will realize how good they are! -- Marcos Relano , keet17@aol.com |
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I don`t know, an inter-racial marriage could be horrible at times, but also they can be great. I don`t think that the couple fits well in their in-laws family`s structure or culture as well if he or she was the same kind. So this is an issue that has to be considered before you get married to someone of another kind. -- Jagjit Singh |
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I think they are fine, it all depends on the persons in the relationship. -- Paramjeet Thind , pamtd@ucla.edu |
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They`re all right. -- Clint Kelly , cwk5@cornell.edu |